Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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