I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
