i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
