The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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