Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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