At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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