i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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