Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize