I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
