Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
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