quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
