All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Randomize
