yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
