somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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