a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
