i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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