Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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