I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
