Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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