two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
