babies were throwing up all over the place
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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