If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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