omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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