Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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