Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
