ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
