Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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