and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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