So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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