my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I am naked and annoyed.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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