I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
