Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize