So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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