Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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