The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
