you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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