Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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