Need sex. Gaining weight.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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