There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
