I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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