I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
