Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
