i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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