So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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