I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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