I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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