dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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