I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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