Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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