We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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