ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize