he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
