my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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