You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!