ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
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you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
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Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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