I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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