Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize